laugh, laugh, go forward

dynamic-punch:

when i try to draw feet

nukkelapsi:

I had to hold a speech at school today, and I was only given a couple of hours to prepare it. I was absolutely terrified. I’m an actress, so these things shouldn’t worry me, right? Wrong. 

So I tried to write down a couple helping words for myself, as we’re not allowed to write down the whole speech. At first I had no idea what to talk about. But after a while, I decided to talk about something that is important to me. 

So I spoke about low self esteem. Something that has always haunted me, though many might not believe it. I’m actually terrified of acting. It’s really risky, because if you make a mistake on the stage, you will get laughed at. But if you do well, the audience will love you. And that’s what I’m after when on stage, I want to be loved. Even if it means playing a character. It feels wonderful, to have all those eyes on you, and know that they like you. But its scary. 

What if I mess up? 

But the only way to win, to face that fear, is to go on that stage and do your best. You either fly high, or you fall down fast. 

So I walked on the stage, in front of all my class mates. And I spoke. I was so scared. 

Was my speech good enough? Was I interesting enough?

And suddenly I noticed, that I was actually talking to myself. 

“You gotta climb that ladder up to the sunshine by yourself, others can only help you on the way.”

“Think about how wonderful it will feel once you’re finally completely healthy.”

“You’re beautiful, smart and wonderful.”

“You will receive help, if you ask for it.”

“You will be accepted, if you accept yourself. “

“And remember, somewhere there is a person, who thinks that _you_ are the most wonderful person on Earth.”

My voice was trembling, my hands were shaking and I was almost shouting at my audience. I had forgotten about my paper and the helping words on it.

They were completely quiet. 

After I was done, I said thank you, and as I started to walk away, I heard the greatest applause I have ever gotten. 

I couldn’t believe it. Everyone was clapping their hands for me, a friend hugged me, my Finnish teacher hugged me. I was in awe. 

I had done it. By just being me, I had managed to keep my audience’ attention. I had, for a moment, made them love me.

And then I realized, that it is truly possible for me to get over my problem. If others like me, there must be something special in me that makes me likable. That means, that one day I can look in the mirror and truly mean it when I say;

“I love you.” 

I can recover my self esteem. Everyone can, if they just want to. You just need to have the courage for it. 

Everyone is beautiful.